In the imminent and inevitable end that we all shall face, what truly would go through our soulful minds in the face of our demise?

As far as death goes, I've never been a witness to a passing, never been strung along at a wavering bedside illness---Other than my grandmother's currently drawn out decades long suicide from her incessant chain smoking.  The only loss of lives I have experienced are surprises and perhaps accidents. 

At the root of my personal experiences with death comes the most unbearable heartache a sixteen year old girl could encounter.  My very dear mother was taken from mortality at the hands of a ruthless murderer.  He subsequently shot himself immediately thereafter, bittersweet justice.  As the years carried on in my life, many people I knew, (some second-handedly), had left this world, through murder, car accidents, alcohol poisoning, heart attacks, overdose, cancer, epilepsy, and simply aging.  Religious or not, death is a hard creature to swallow.

As far as self-inflicted endings go, other than my bouts with depression and thinking how so simple it could be to just end it all in a flash and my mother's killer, I have no experience with recognizing it, seeing it, or acknowledging it. 
Although I know that it is really, very real.  My favorite human being, Hunter S. Thompson, went out according to his own wishes.  Honestly, I'm just saying I don't understand it.

The only person in the new town I moved to whom I would call a friend, despite not spending substantial amounts of time with, is going through the most unimaginable heart break at this very moment.  And in my actions I continue to carry on, business as usual, but on the inside I am as lost as could be.  Her fiance', whom we now know, she was already secretly married to, ended his own life this past week.  I knew him mostly only in passing, or through endless stories from her.  Yet, just like that she is left on her own, all plans ended, all hope lost, all kinds of confusion, despair, worthlessness, and agony setting in.  

I frankly just don't understand how no one saw any signs, how someone hurting so badly could never make a peep, or if it were spur of the moment, what could trigger such an abrupt ending to a life?  Maybe, we just aren't supposed to understand, but it truly does make one think and consider where their own life is heading.