Anyway, putting my life into perspective, I could say I have accomplished a lot since that lovely after

noon out of the blue when I signed up for this site.  But if you really asked me, right this second to my face, I'd say I have done nothing with myself, and am not sure if I ever will.  Probably not the best attitude to have per say, but when have I ever really had a good attitude about anything. (Not often enough).  

Shortly after I joined Xanga, I left my home in Hawaii for a year abroad in Sweden.  I finished my junior year of high school there, where I experienced so much life without American pressures, I found love in all the wrong places, I lost my mother to the hands of another, and I turned cold.  All the while, through this blog-o-sphere, I was falling in love with a forever stranger.  Even after meeting, even after dating, even after giving my all, even after giving up, even after..... well it all, after 10 years of knowing each other, still strangers.

I finished high school and never looked back, the world without a sweet mother was never to be the same.  I had fallen off the wayside.  I was determined to do whatever I so desired, whomever, where ever, be it all, do it all, but did it all the wrong way, absolutely the wrong way.  I did find a life-long friend along the way, one that dreadful facebook isn't needed to stay in contact with...  I did make mistake after mistake, until I finally decided to start college.  My existence actually felt like a life at this point, working, schooling, eventually re-pursuing the love of my life, my sweet Xanga love affair turned true life train wreck.  Until, as fate would have it, as poor decisions go, I up and joined the Army, told no one until the last minute and ran off to, what seemed like a nice idea in the fleeting moment.  Upon my return home.... I turned the tables on love and went for stability versus vulnerability.

Are we overly bombarded yet?  That's a whopping five years down.

The last five in a nutshell: Nearly one and a half years were dedicated to my fabulous time in Afghanistan, the next year to a little more college, awaiting the return of my latest love from his deployment, and spending time adjusting back to society...  

Moving further ahead, a marriage, 

truly moving out, and here I am one and a half years after moving, still working at the same place in a nightmare of a position, still taking college classes, still delightfullymarried.... and still....well..... nowhere.

If you had asked me ten years ago where I thought I would be in ten years...  I never would have come close to this nonsense.  I suppose I only have room to improve the next ten years.
And that's enough of being semi-openly-personal.