Month: September 2012

  • September

    Currently:

    This is a good month for me thus far I could suppose.  I'm a full-time student again...for now...finally.  I still work full-time (at a nightmare of a dental receptionist job).  A favorite book of mine from a long time ago is now going to be a movie--comes out this Friday:

    and The Avett Brothers put out a new album. 

    And finally the incessant moist heat of the summer is moving along on its merry little way.  Oh, and I'm taking my husband to see Florence + The Machine this Friday.  [This is as positive as it gets because sometimes.... I just hate myself and who wants to hear all of that...all of the time.]

    Side note: In therapy I had an exercise to write down ONE thing, just ONE good, positive, okay, not too terrible thing that happened each day, so as to be able to say not everyday sucks.

    Mentally:

    Trying to figure out how and when all of my peers became superior.
    Trying to figure out where I went wrong in life already and how to rectify it if at all possible. 
    Wondering if other people imagine what life would be like had they settled it in with another. 
    Wondering what my real purpose is and if I'll ever find that out. 
    Wondering if others still talk to old boyfriends and lost loves who they now claim as friends. 
    Wondering if other people care as much as I do about people. 
    Wondering if I'll ever be satisfied with what I have, what I do, where I live, who I love. 
    Wondering if I still care about others because I left them out of fear not for lack of love. 
    Wondering if I simply wonder too much, past the point of any normalcy.  

  • Plans....WHOSE are they?

    Over the course of our lives we meet fork after fork in the selfish path that is our never ending trail to the "end."

    Are our mistakes truly mistakes or are they part of THE plan?

    How do we know we aren't in the middle of a "mistake" as part of our plan.

     

    It truly is mind boggling to know if we are only at a mere stepping stone in our divine plan or if this is really it.

     

    I hope this isn't it for me.