Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things. -Eliot 1964

so how do we know when "time" started what does time even mean, really, I mean define it.  If nothing is essentially real, well, then you can imagine where I wanted to go with that one.  

 

time can't/won't be real

 

(to me)

typed from a time frame out of my mind up stairs smoking with the light on upstairs... haha ha you'll see read what jams are flowing through my essence of amazingness, welcome to another mind level my friends:

 

"I remember the thirty-five sweet goodbyes

when you put me on the wolverine

up to annandale

it was still september

when your daddy was quite surprised

to find you with the working girls

in the county jail 

i was smoking with the boys upstairs

when i heard about the whole affair

i said oh no

william and mary won't do

 

chorus

well i did not think the girl

could be so cruel

and i'm never going back 

to my old school

 

oleanders growing outside your door

soon they're gonna be in bloom

up in annandale

i can't stand her

doing what she did before

livging like a gypsy queen

in a fairy tale

well i hear the whistle but i can't go

i'm gonna take her down to mexico

she said oh no

guadalajara won't do

chorus

california tumbles into the sea

that"ll be the day I go

back to annandale

tried to warn you

about chino and a ddaddy geee

but i can't seem to get to you

through the us mail

well i hear thew histle d but i can't go

I'm gonna take her down to mexico

she said oh no

guadalajara won't do

 

chorus"

how could a self proclaimed heartbreaker get slightly...

well perturbed when a former close one has found another spend their time with?

doesn't make much sense for being one who tries not to care about too much. 

I guess I should have considered the fact that the trouble I get into I did to myself.  

Easy/fair enough I guess.

things are not looking good.

something just might be too clean.. too slow.. too selfish..

shit.

get out.

one

more

take

please.

I don't take to threats.  If you said it, then that's what you can go ahead and do.  Doesn't phase me.
KEEEEEEP talking.  I'm practically deaf anyhow. 

 

I hadn't thought of it before, but maybe YOU as in anyone don't get me because you're just not mentally up there with me yet.  Call it arrogance, or what have you, but the truth never will be easy.

so, picture this:

no wait.

crap, I'm being watched.

the end is the end.

that's easy enough to comprehend.

I have no outlet left.

Here I go back inside myself.

At one point if you stopped and froze a snapshot of my life, one second, one freeze frame or mind frame, if you will, just a moment of being.  

Well, I'm pretty much deathly afraid of what devastation would be found.  

Good thing this isn't quite possible, I suppose, not yet anyway, not even with speech.  

We'll see what becomes of this existentialism.